Our Leader

This post will be dedicated to my one and only Park Jeong Su, a.k.a Leeteuk oppa!:)  He is, as all good fan girl friends know, my favorite member of SJ.  He wasn't my first choice though.  Let's go back to when I first, for real, listened/watched them.  It was the 16th of October this year.  My BFF invited me to watch SS3 in 3D.  The tickets were a bit of a burn to my wallet but I went for the sake of friendship.  I just went because I was helping my girl, Jen, out.  At the same time, it could have been curiosity too.  So I went and enjoyed the show!  My first choice was actually Donghae oppa.  It's kinda hard to remember all of them, when it's still your first time.  Donghae was first to come out, that's probably why I remembered him and Siwon oppa too.  Who could forget those chocolate abs.  I did notice Leeteuk oppa when they were talking to the fans, saying their thanks and what-not.  The 3D concert experience should be in another post, so I'm not gonna go on and talk about it.  I'll be posting it soon. I guess. Haha! Anyhooooo.. I can't really remember what led me to Leeteuk oppa.  It just sorta happened.  My objective to this post is to talk about how great he really is.  What pushed me even more to write about it rs because of the recent Sukira farewell.

I've always known that Leeteuk oppa is kind and loving but at the same time always stood his ground as the leader of the group. Thus, making him in some ways serious.  I'm not really sure how others see him but despite his playful exterior, especially during MC gigs, I see a very serious Leeteuk.  As if a thousand bricks were sitting on his shoulders.  I noticed during concerts that he isn't as "affectionate" towards the others(not sure if that's what I really mean but sorta in the same context) as the other boys.  He does play around, don't get me wrong.  He knows what the fans want and it shows but to me I see that there is a lot of worry in his eyes, like he is holding back how he really is towards his dongsengs and being a responsible leader for the fans.  I won't prolong about what I really mean about not being affectionate because it would probably novel-long.  Haha! During public appearances as well, he's the one who answers most of the questions, which made me feel sorry for the other guys because they aren't able to show themselves more.  The other boys are more touchy and lovey-doveyish with each other compared to how Leeteuk is with them too.  What I'm basically trying to say is, despite how happy our leader is, he is a very serious person.  But then because of the end of his and Hyukjae oppa's term on Sukira, I saw how Leeteuk oppa was so affectionate towards his other members.  Of course, I know he cares for all of them deeply, just like a mother would for her children.  Waaaahhh!!! That's exactly what I wanted to convey from the start!!! He has a motherly kind of affection towards the members rather than a brotherly kind of affection.  Any way, going back.  A day after or 2, the 2, now former DJs exchanged tweets.  Then one tweet struck me most. From Leeteuk: “I already miss him. Eunhyuk, I’m sorry. Haha.” 

Then the brotherley love exploded and hit me on the face like a bomb! It was very sweet. Who would have thought that these few simple words would mean the world. This made me love and respect Leeteuk oppa even more. I never questioned his love for his dongsaengs but this was something even more that 6+ years of hardships could explain. I understand how hard it must be for him as the leader of the group. He has to be the disciplinarian, the counselor, the teacher, and the protector. He's been all that and more. Even towards us fans. To fans like myself who haven't experienced them up close know that he is all this and more. This is why he is OUR LEADER, and the best leader. Leeteuk oppa! Saranghaeyo! ♥♥♥

Photos are not mine.

The Lying Lantern

I was gonna originally write something about Super Junior, again. :) But then something came up and it's a shorter story.  I'm sharing this shorter story because it's 4:10 am and I have to get up at 7:30 am.  Yes, I'm crazy enough to make a new post rather than sleep.  My story is actually the cause of my too-early-to-wake-up, too-late-to-sleep sitch right now.  First of all, I am a student.  I'm studying fashion design and still in my 1st year for this course.  Unfortunately, there is an age gap between my classmates and myself.  It's not that much but mentally, never mind! Haha! I don't mean to be mean but they are still kids and it bugs every ounce of fiber in my body.  Anyway, short story.  We were asked to make this Christmas Lantern for one of our majors.  This was given around 2 weeks ago, going on 3.  Today is the deadline.  Later I mean.  We've started making it 2 Sundays ago and our lantern was taking form.  The Wednesday after that was a holiday so we decided to continue but since I had work, I couldn't go help them.  So I thought that it would be a better idea if I came to pick up the lantern and do the finishing touches. So I did, but then one of my group mates (who also wasn't able to come) wants to give her share as well and asked me if I could send the lantern over to her then she'll send it back to me when she's done.  I saw the age gap with this situation.  I love to plan.  I used to be very spontaneous but as I got older, I've become more organized because I have too many things to do in a day and I just have to time everything to make it fit into a day.  Anyhooo. So a week has passed and I didn't get the damn lantern until last night around 9, almost 10.  To my great surprise, the lantern looked not a tad bit different from when I last saw it.  Is 6 days too short to even just make bits and pieces for this lantern? Apparently it is for kids.  When I think about it, I was never like this when I was younger.  I was always responsible enough to make assignments before the deadline or earlier than the deadline.  It really drove me nuts.  A part of me was expecting that this was gonna happen.  And it did.  Prolific tongue? Mind? Prolific something.  The most stupid thing is I was willing to do it all by myself from the start and I had offered to do it but then they kept on saying that they wanted to give a share in order for it to be fair for everyone.  Now they do this? They make me do everything and do not even give me time to prepare what I need or plan what to make or put.  The supposed 6 days of work that my group mates could have and should have done, I did in less than 6 hours.  I want to laugh.  Well, I laughed it off.  Maybe because I've been inhaling a lot of glue since the beginning of the making of this damn lantern.  But I did.  I just don't care anymore.  I need the grade too.  I'm too old to repeat courses and I don't have the time to postpone another year off my planned graduation.  Therefore, I conclude that kids these days just worry about boys and whatever shit they talk about and don't even think about their future.  They think life is easy.  It is when you're young. TRY GROWING UP!!!!!

Suju is <3  ~~Getting a little light headed.~~~

The Last Day

Yesterday was the last day our Leeteuk oppa and Eunhyukie oppa took their seats as Kiss The Radio's DJs.  They say when a door closes a window opens on the other side of the room.  I guess this is what's going on right now.  But then, the window actually opened, rather windows opened even before the door had shut close.  Our two oppas have a lot on there plates on these last couple of weeks or months even.  At the same time, it was also to prepare our Sungmin oppa and Ryeowook oppa to take the places of the 2 above mentioned.

When I first read about this change I got choked up.  Though I do not watch/listen to "Sukira"  much but still my heart is with them every time they went on air.  I've seen probably hundreds of fan-taken photos of Teukie and Hyukie oppa while on the show.  I didn't know what I would feel when this day would come and I actually forgot about it.  Days indeed have been running like wild fire lately.  Just this morning before I decided to early up my writing of this post I read about what went on and some messages from the boys about their last day.  I cried. I guess I was expecting this because in the last few days, I have been crying a lot just because THAT day is drawing closer everyday that I rise from my deep slumber.  D-day is the day when Leeteuk oppa, the oppa of all oppas, the hyung of all hyungnims, will enlist to the army.  It breaks my heart every time I think about it.  I keep telling myself not to think about it but I really can't help it.  It's driven me to the point of going crazy.  As well as the thought of an unsure SS4 in Manila or being lucky enough to score tickets for their shows abroad.  I'm overwhelmed with negative emotions and I feel so tired everyday.  As if I hadn't had a good night's sleep.  Back to the radio show.  It was like a trial to what's to come.  I'm sure I'd cry buckets full of tears when Leeteuk will be leaving us for 2 years.  I'm sure it's gonna feel 10x worse.  Donghae oppa was at the studio with them during the last airing.  Eunhyukie cried like he always does (that's why we love him so much, our pure and loving anchovy.) Donghae oppa came to comfort him when he sobbed his heart out.  This is why we love Super Junior so much.  Just like what my friend said on her blog.  These men have a bond that words can't describe.  It's not just being a team but it's a brotherhood.  These guys would take a bullet for each other, would swim oceans, would climb Mt. Everest and would run around the world for and with each other.  Even if time has come when all the fans realize that the end is close for them to probably go their separate ways, with regards to their careers.  We are confident and we feel secured that we would see much of them still being like they are now, in the future.

An end to a 5 year and 3 month (Guinness-worthy) long spot for these 2 is a window of opportunity to our much more timid and gentle Sungmin and Ryeowook.  I'm sure that they will do a good job. Though they don't seem as enthusiastic and crazy active as the 2 above, they actually have something special in them too.  Ryeowook has this side when you'll just die of laughter with his perfect timing with jokes and Sungmin, oh, who could resist that cute smile.  But since it is a radio show, I should say something that can be heard through speakers. Hahahahaha! He has his charms too.  He's a very charismatic "Casanova" as I saw on an episode of Strong Heart.  Sungmin and Ryeowook oppa, I'm sure will make their predecessors proud.  Looking forward to their success!:) Fighting!!

That's about all of what I sorta want to say for now.  I gotta go take my shower and head to my future. ;)

♥ SJ forever

Forgot to acknowledge. As seen, photos have signatures on them.  They are not mine, I well, took it from sup3rjunior.com but the photos themselves are from different fans. Peace out!

Sorrow, Love and Life.

In the last couple of days, I've been thinking a lot about the up coming SS4 (Super Show 4) concerts to be held in different countries through out the world.  I am still praying that they do come to the Philippines but yesterday a friend of mine told me about a post made by the organizer which led everybody to thinking that the concert might not be possible.  It shook me and made me go mad.  It may seem petty for the rest of the world who does not know what I feel or those who feel the same way I do.  I want to watch them in concert desperately.  Why?  1. It may be their last one. 2. Despite my short fandom, I've fallen in love with each and every member of the group.  Not a romantic kind of love but more of a brotherly-sisterly love.  They are my Oppas.  I don't know how many times I will be repeating this but it is not a form of apology, rather, a form of making people understand that the kind of love WE as fans have for our "idols" should not be frowned, laughed or judged upon.  Because the kind of love we have is the kind of love some, if not most of the world can't even devote to their husbands or wives or their family.  I've begun to realize that the fans have the purest form of love there is.  I'm not saying it as a fan but as an observer.  I've noticed how the members of Super Junior acknowledge their fans as if we were the ones who made them.  But when you think about it, they wouldn't be where they are without their fans.  The way the members show their gratitude is as pure as the love the fans give.  There's nothing more beautiful in this world but that kind of love.  I could actually go on and on about this but there is something else I want to share.  It has only been a little over a month since I got into this.  One month and eighteen days to be exact.  But it seems like I've loved them all my life.  At the same time I have a lot of regret when I didn't even give them the chance when I had an opportunity to love them from the start.  I wish I could turn back time and had been with them through all their hardships and I would truly feel like an authentic fan.  My best friend, Jen, told me that it doesn't matter how long I've loved them but what's more important is how much I love them.  It's true but I still feel a lot of regret.  In some ways I feel like how Kyu Hyun felt when he first joined the group.  Super Junior had already debuted when he was added in.  He felt like he didn't deserve to cry with the group when they received their first #1 song.  He held back tears because in his mind he thought, "What did I do to deserve crying with them?".  That's exactly how I feel now.  It's not that I feel left out because the Fan Girls have welcomed me and my 2 good friends have encouraged me to be a fan girl but it's more like I myself feel like I don't deserve to be a fan because I haven't been through a lot with the journey of Super Junior.  I don't know if I'm even making any sense but that's just how I feel.  I really do hope I see them in concert before Jeong Su leaves for the military...

First Blog EVER

How to start? I've been planning to start my own blog for years now but never took the time to do it.  Now, I've finally started it.  Hopefully I'll continue on 'til computers become obsolete.  Is that even possible? I mean something more advanced than a computer. I'm sure that's possible. Haha! Anyway, Introduction? I don't really want to introduce myself just because the purpose of this blog is for you to know me through my experiences and not have an expectation of who I am.  Let me start by talking about today's agenda....

Last night, I tried purchasing items online.  Super Junior stuff to be specific.  An error occurred during the last part of the transaction which led me into a total panic.  I have trust issues that go crazy.  I always think that even if it says one thing, it really doesn't mean that it is what it is.  I was paranoid about the payment actually happening even if the page displayed an error.  This morning I called the card company and thankfully it was nothing but a charge on an online purchase.  I didn't know that they now charge purchases made online.  At least it isn't the supposed item that I was trying to acquire.  I'd surely go nuts after everything that has happened to me in the last 2 weeks.  There's actually a lot that I wish to talk about but it would be better if i talked about it gradually.  It could get boring if I went on about my quite stagnant life. Hahaha.  This is my test blog.  The first one ever.  I'm not sure how anyone could fall upon this blog and read.  Any hoo... who ever is reading, please continue to read and visit. Enjoy!:)